It's my birthday! As I sit here changing positions every three minutes trying to find comfort, I think about how my mom (your Laynie) felt just weeks before this day 29 years ago. Considering I was two weeks "late," I imagine it was a little bit different physically, but probably not emotionally. I came across this article the other day that really spoke to me. It validated these new emotions I've been feeling and gave me a place of comfort to find in them.
When we found out we were blessed to have you in our lives, a dear friend wrote me a sweet note and her words have stuck with me. She said, "you think you know how much your Momma loves you now, but you're going to quickly realize that you weren't even close." Baby girl, I haven't even laid eyes on you yet and sometimes I find myself so overcome with love for you that I can hardly stand it.
Now, here we are just four short weeks away from your due date, and I make an open promise to you to not wish a single minute away. Sure, there are times that I drop something and come very close to leaving it on the ground because it's so much easier than having to bend down and pick it up, or I feel one of those nice little jabs in my left rib cage (you know the ones) and I grow so frustrated because I can't figure out why you won't just drop already, but those moments are coming to an end. I won't get to feel you that way any longer. Those not-as-cute baby kicks are our sign that you're alive and healthy and thriving. The days are numbered of me being able to keep you so safe tucked away in there. It's the closest you'll ever physically be to my heart and I can't ignore that. I dream about the day that I get to see you turn my sweet husband into your Daddy, but for right now, I'll enjoy being selfish and keeping you all to myself. I don't have to share you, yet, and I think I'll hold on to that for a little while.
I want you to come when you're ready. I'm pretty sure you'll let me know. Right now, it's just you and me, babe!